Chapter 24

YOU’RE RICH, BITCH

If you’re offended by the word “bitch,” I’m sorry. The final chapter of this book deals with forgiveness; maybe you’ll be able to find it in your heart to forgive me. In the meantime, I forgive you for your decision to choose to be offended so easily. It’s a problem a lot of modern day humans suffer from. It makes them feel alive—important. So please feel free to enjoy your moment of self-righteous offense.

                The phrase “You’re Rich Bitch!” comes from the popular television show The Chappelle Show. For some reason, I never really got into the show like a lot of people did. I guess I’m just too cool to be trendy.

                Did you grasp the brilliance in that last statement? I’m too cool to be trendy. You see, most humans follow trends in order to “be cool.” I, however, have surpassed that level of “coolness.” It’s like: I’m so cool, I’m too cool to be trendy. That’s like taking coolness to extremely cold levels. If the humans who follow trends are the state of Alaska—then I’m the continent of Antarctica. Not only am I an entire continent, but I’m also a much colder region of the world. Antarctica destroys Alaska. Then again, this whole “coolness spiel” could just be my hidden insecurities rising up—masked as extreme confidence.

                I guess I’m not that cool after all.

                That must mean I’m hot.

                Maybe I’m one of them “Hot Boys,” that Missy Elliot used to sing about.  :]

                Anyhow, the “You’re Rich Bitch!” phrase got me thinking about how rich we already are—especially here in America. Most humans don’t consider themselves rich unless they have a million dollars in the bank. Being financially “rich” has its benefits, I’m sure. But I wonder, how much money would a blind millionaire be willing to sacrifice in exchange for the ability to see? All of it, I’m sure.

Wouldn’t you?

Think about it: If you had a check in your name for $1,000,000 and you had a blind person who wanted your eyes in exchange for the check … what would you do?