Chapter 22

WHAT IS LOVE?

“What is love? Oh, baby don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me. No more.” Can you name that tune?

                It’s unfortunate that I have to take time out of my super-busy life (reading books, walking my dog, taking hot baths) to define love. One would assume, that with all the people who claim to be “in love,” that love is a concept that is pretty well understood. However, a lot of people who claim to be “in love” don’t act in very loving ways.

                Dictionary.com defines love as: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.  

                Think about all your love-relationships from the past. Doesn’t it just create a warm feeling inside? Goose bumps full of profoundly tender, passionate affection are likely covering your skin.

                Think about how those love-relationships ended. The candles were lit; soft music was playing in the background. Your soon-to-be-ex leaned in slowly and whispered, “I’m so delighted to be here tonight, as we bring this beautiful relationship to an end.”

                You hold hands as you reminisce about all the wonderful times you shared. You speak lovingly about the “friend from work” who was always texting them. You giggle about the time he came home from work early and saw your ex running out the back door—with no shirt on. You exchange tender forehead kisses just before you hug, part ways, and slowly close the door behind you.

                You walk down the hallway, feeling light as a feather, satisfied to bring that chapter of your life to a close, while eagerly anticipating what lies ahead.

                You’ve mastered love. Congratulations. Write a book.

                For the rest of the world, “love” has become distorted. Most humans use the word “love” to describe the feeling of familiarity.

                Humans use the term “loved ones” to describe their family members, regardless of whether or not those family members act in loving ways. I think this is where the improper association with the word “love” is rooted.

                Here’s what may happen: Uncle Judas is a part of my family, so I come to the conclusion that he is a “loved one.” But I’ve also noticed that Uncle Judas acts like a jerk. I guess that means it’s normal for my loved ones to act like jerks. I think I’ll plant this into my subconscious mind and save it for later. That way, I can bring the love-jerk principle into my love-relationships, making them love-jerk relationships.

                Fast forward a few years: Al and Peggy have officially “fallen in love.”

                In the beginning, things are fantastic. They love spending time together. The “love-making” is amazing. (Although, it’s more like lust-making.)  Peggy laughs at all of Al’s jokes. Al showers Peggy with compliments and attention; things couldn’t be better.

                Six months later, things are beginning to change. Al and Peggy are beginning to become annoyed with each other. Al wants to go out drinking with the guys, but Peggy wants Al to take her to dinner.

                Feeling like a prisoner, Al starts staying out late. Al’s ego starts to take over. She’s not the boss of me. Who does she think she is?