Chapter 31
THE PRISON OF FAME
Leszcynski Stanislaus, King of Poland in the 1700’s, on fame: “What is fame? The advantage of being known by people of whom you yourself know nothing, and for whom you care as little.”
The concept of fame hasn’t changed much.
I’ve been dealing with a touch of “fame” for the past decade. Being a well-known radio personality doesn’t come with the same level of fame that a movie star or pop singer endures, but it certainly has its similarities. You get recognized when you walk into a restaurant. People want to stop you and chat about your work. Groupies want to have sex with you. Haters try to push your buttons. Gossipers like to discuss—and distort—the details of your life.
For the most part, fame sucks. You’re not treated as a human being; you’re treated as an object.
Generally, most humans have the desire to be “rich and famous” because they believe it will fill a void. Most people who seek fame have a “love-void” that was established as they were growing up. Maybe they didn’t connect with their parents in loving ways. Maybe they were the middle child and didn’t receive adequate attention. Whatever the exact nature of the “void,” they believe fame will somehow fill it. They hallucinate: If I can just get famous, then everybody will love me! I’ll finally get some attention! This will solve all my problems!
What they don’t know is this: Fame creates as many problems as it “solves.”
I used to dream of being famous. I suffered from “pay attention to me syndrome.” I started out wanting to be a professional baseball player. I used to practice signing autographs on old baseball cards. I thought, Whenever I’m a professional baseball player, I’m gonna stay as long as it takes, in order to make sure everybody gets an autograph. I used to get frustrated whenever I’d go see the Richmond Braves (minor league team for the Atlanta Braves) play, and I’d be the next kid in line for an autograph, and the baseball player would say, “Okay guys, I gotta run now.” I promised I’d never leave anybody hanging.
Around age 16, when I started becoming more interested in radio, I noticed all the love that Carson Daly received while hosting MTV’s Total Request Live. Not only did he receive lots of love and attention from all the TRL fans, but he also got to hang with the world’s most famous musicians. I thought, This is the perfect job for me.
In 1997, when I was 18, I remember driving to New York City. I was determined to become an MTV VJ (Video Jock). I found a cheap hotel room in Long Island, and started asking New Yorkers, “How do I get to the MTV studios?”
Long story short, I took the train into the city, hopped on the subway, and found my way to the MTV studios. I proceeded to march into the building, armed with the following statement: “I just drove from Virginia to New York because I wanna be an MTV VJ. What do I do now?”
The receptionist laughed and said, “Do you have an agent?”
“An agent?” I replied. “Uh … no.”
“Well, you might wanna get an agent,” said the receptionist.
I left the building, reversed the subway to train process, and jumped back into my car. Six hours later, I was back in Virginia.
Still no agent.
In 1999, I participated in MTV’s “I Wanna Be a VJ Too” contest. Out of thousands of contests, I just knew I was the top contender. When my time to audition came, I was anything but comfortable. I’d never read a Teleprompter in my entire life, and this was the main skill required. Way to go boy-wonder. I just assumed I’d walk into the studios, the MTV gods would instantly recognize my greatness, pluck me out of the crowd, whisk me away to my new office, and begin showering me with the love I so richly deserved.
“Next!” shouted the MTV producer.
So now I’m thinking, It’s cool. They just didn’t have enough time to recognize your talent. You’ve got the whole radio thing going on; they’ll come around eventually.
Needless to say, I never became an MTV VJ. I did, however, get my 15 minutes of MTV fame on the show Two-A-Days. The show followed the Hoover High School football team, and the cheerleaders came up to host my nightly countdown. Florida Gators star Tim Tebow was quarterback for the opposing high school team the following day; it was a Saturday game televised by ESPN. In the future, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear Tebow say something like the following:
*END OF SAMPLE*
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