Chapter 33
Lust
Out of all the “seven deadly sins,” lust has been my favorite. Some humans choose greed, others prefer gluttony,
many “dirt-brains” fall victim to envy. Different personality types fall victim to
different weaknesses; everybody has one (or two, or three).
As
the world progresses, it seems as though
lust is the deadly sin that is gaining the most momentum. The pornography industry continues to
grow. Marriages continue to fail. Popular music has become laced with lyrics
involving casual sex and cheating.
Television has embraced the “hook-up” philosophy as being the new
norm. Some of our most powerful leaders
have fallen victim to the more powerful energy
of lust.
The
power of lust has imprisoned the planet.
In
my younger days, I used to rationalize my lustful desires. I’d say things like, “Lust is a natural
desire. It is programmed into our DNA to
make sure the human race continues producing.
To ignore our natural desires is to ignore nature itself.”
However,
now I’m able to see lust for what is really is:
a necessary evil.
It’s
true, lust is a natural desire. It was
intended to ensure the survival of the human species. At the same time, I believe it was intended
to be used with extreme caution. Take
fire, for example. Fire can be an
extremely valuable tool, if handled properly.
We use fire to cook our food, heat our homes, and burn unwanted
items. But what if fire (a natural
element) is allowed to burn without proper supervision? It can spread out-of-control, destroying
everything in its path.
Playing
with lust is like playing with fire. You
never know when it’s going to get out-of-control. Sometimes, even under the appropriate
supervision, fire can explode—creating an unforseen disaster. Just look at my examples in the last
chapter. My choice to have sex with
three different “hot” girls, could have potentially destroyed my life. I was smart; I played by the “fire rules.” I entered what should’ve been a “safe fire
environment.” But because they made a decision
that they’d later regret (for their own selfish reasons), I was put into the “line-of-fire.” Basically, my life was put in danger because
of the careless actions of another.
This
is what happens when you choose to play with fire.
When
you choose to follow your lustful desires, you give your power away. If an unforeseen wind comes into the picture
(like a girl deciding to get back with her fiancé) a tiny spark can become a
huge mess. Wherever lust is found, risk
is always peeking around the corner.
In
regards to the numerous lustful encounters I’ve experienced, I’m lucky to have
walked away with no serious “burns.”
There are protective measures one can take while playing with fire, but
you can’t always predict the weather (emotionally unstable women or ex-boyfriends).
When you meet a “hot” guy or girl at the
club, and decide to follow your lustful desires, you never know if the
encounter is going to destroy your life.
Remember, a single spark can
create a huge flame. Huge flames can
destroy beautiful homes.
Think
about fire the next time you see a “hot” person. Heat and fire go hand-in-hand.
But
what about the “emotionally stable” humans out there who do want to express their “natural” desires? Just because there are a few “bad apples” in
the barrel, that shouldn’t ruin all the fun for everyone else! You might be thinking, I’m a single professional. My
life is “together.” I don’t have any
attachments or drama. I also have
someone who’s in a similar position, and we want to “manage the risk,” while
exploring our lustful cravings. Isn’t
there something we can do?
When
I consider this dilemma, I think of comedian Chris Rock. In one of Chris’ comedy routines, he answers
the always confusing question, “Is it ever okay for a white person to use the N-word?”
Chris
begins listing a series of random events that would have to take place (in
order) on Christmas Eve. The chances of
all these unlikely events lining-up (on Christmas Eve) are virtually
impossible. However, in the event that
all these things did happen, he says,
“It would be appropriate for a white person to use the N-word.”
So
what was Chris’ final answer to the question “Is it ever okay for a white
person to use the N-word?”
“Not really.”
In
that spirit, I’d like to propose a solution to the situation listed above:
If
two non-committed consenting adults choose to enter a “for physical purposes
only” agreement, they should put it in writing.
It should look like the following:
I, (name of participant), do hereby enter
into this agreement for physical purposes
only with (name of other participant).
I agree that we will take the
necessary measures to prevent pregnancy and STDs (including the use of birth
control and/or condoms).
This partnership has been
created for the sole purpose of
expressing our natural (lustful) desires.
If done properly, I understand that this is intended to be nothing more than a form of mutual
physical exercise.
If my feelings start to change,
and I feel myself becoming romantically attached to the other participant, I
will inform him/her immediately. We will
then sit down and discuss the terms of this contract. If mutually desired, we will then make the
proper amendments.
I understand that I cannot hold the other participant
responsible for my feelings, if they do not feel the same way. I intend to remain professional while under
the agreements outlined in this “for physical purposes only” contract.
I accept full responsibility for
my actions throughout the duration of this contract.
I understand that this agreement
can be terminated at any time, by either party, for any reason.
I commit to maintaining a
professional disposition after the contract ends.
I understand that any violation
of this contract could result in legal action.
Signed _____________, on this,
the _____ day of 2010.
Even
with a contract as clear as this, potential problems can still arise. As soon as emotions enter the arena,
everything changes. No matter how “professional”
a person claims to be, one can never predict when an emotional “spark” will
turn into a “flame.”
So
to answer the question, “Is it ever really okay to follow your lustful desires?”
Not
really.
There
will always be risk. Just ask Tiger
Woods.
My Truth says ... lust can be a
powerful force. When you play with lust,
no matter how well you protect yourself, you’re playing with fire. You’re never really in control of what happens.
What
does Your Truth say?